she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Holy sore nipples Batman
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
