Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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