I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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