Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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