i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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