we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
