you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
wow bdsm is so cute
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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