He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
