Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
