He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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