i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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