K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize