Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
