I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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