I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
