i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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