you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
