All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I made him laugh his dick is mine
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize