ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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