Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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