It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
