Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
