You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
