i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
