I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
