shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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