your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
