Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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