It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
