we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Randomize