when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Randomize