Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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