I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
