Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
