Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
