can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
