so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
