Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
soo... how was my night?
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