Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
