420 ftw
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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