two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
