I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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