i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
