I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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