I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
