i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
vagina is talking i cant
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
