Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
