I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
