i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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