we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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