Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
