I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
