I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize