butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
