then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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