At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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