There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
