Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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