Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
