Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
