This girl is more easily done than said...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
