I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
