An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize